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| It's been awhile since my last post. For some reason, I haven't had much time to sit and write out what's been going on in my life, at least not on here. I decided to start reading The Valley of Vision again... it's a collection of old Puritan prayers that my friend had given me for my birthday a few years ago. I had been reading one every day and stopped for awhile. The language is rich and deep and often helps me verbalize what I'm feeling but unable to express. The first one is how they got the name for the book - it's entitled The Valley of Vision - Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly, Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision, where I live in the depths but see Thee in the heights; hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold Thy glory. Let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up, that to be low is to be high, that the broken heart is the healed heart, that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit, that the repenting soul is the victorious soul, that to have nothing is to possess all, that to bear the cross is to wear the crown, that to give is to receive, that the valley is the place of vision. Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells, and the deeper the wells the brighter Thy stars shine; Let me find Thy light in my darkness, Thy life in my death, Thy joy in my sorrow, Thy grace in my sin, Thy riches in my poverty, Thy glory in my valley. | | |
| This is taken from Streams in the Desert. Check it out... "God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world" (Gal. 6:14). They were living to themselves; self with its hopes, and promises and dreams, still had hold of them; but the Lord began to fulfill their prayers. They had asked for contrition, and had surrendered for it to be given them at any cost, and He sent them sorrow; they had asked for purity, and He sent them thrilling anguish; they had asked to be meek, and He had broken their hearts; they had asked to be dead to the world, and He slew all their living hopes; they had asked to be made like unto Him, and He placed them in the furnace, sitting by "as a refiner and purifier of silver," until they should reflect His image; they had asked to lay hold of His cross, and when He had reached it to them it lacerated their hands. They had asked they knew not what, nor how, but He had taken them at their word, and granted them all their petitions. They were hardly willing to follow Him so far, or to draw so nigh to Him. They had upon them an awe and fear, as Jacob at Bethel, or Eliphaz in the night visions, or as the apostles when they thought that they had seen a spirit, and knew not that it was Jesus. They could almost pray Him to depart from them, or to hide His awfulness. They found it easier to obey than to suffer, to do than to give up, to bear the cross than to hang upon it. But they cannot go back, for they have come too near the unseen cross, and its virtues have pierced too deeply within them. He is fulfilling to them His promise, "And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me" (John 12:32). But now at last their turn has come. Before, they had only heard of the mystery, but now they feel it. He has fastened on them His look of love, as He did on Mary and Peter, and they can but choose to follow. Little by little, from time to time, by flitting gleams, the mystery of His cross shines out upon them. They behold Him lifted up, they gaze on the glory which rays from the wounds of His holy passion; and as they gaze they advance, and are changed into His likeness, and His name shines out through them, for He dwells in them. They live alone with Him above, in unspeakable fellowship; willing to lack what others own (and what they might have had), and to be unlike all, so that they are only like Him. Such, are they in all ages, "who follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth." Had they chosen for themselves, or their friends chosen for them, they would have chosen otherwise. They would have been brighter here, but less glorious in His Kingdom. They would have had Lot's portion, not Abraham's. If they had halted anywhere--if God had taken off His hand and let them stray back--what would they not have lost? What forfeits in the resurrection? But He stayed them up, even against themselves. Many a time their foot had well nigh slipped; but He in mercy held them up. Now, even in this life, they know that all He did was done well. It was good to suffer here, that they might reign hereafter; to bear the cross below, for they shall wear the crown above; and that not their will but His was done on them and in them. --Anonymous | | |
| This is another little excerpt from the book I'm reading called Lies Women Believe and the Truth that sets them free... I definitely recommend this book! It's been so refreshing and cleansing to read. "God is not really enough" "Christ is all I need, all that I need." It's one thing to sing that little chorus when we're sitting in a church service. But when we walk out the church doors and into the rough-and-tumble world, do we really believe He is all we need? As with the first three lies, we would hardly dare to breathe these words; few of us consciously believe this lie. But the way we live reveals that this is what we really do believe. When it comes down to it, we don't believe God's Word is truly sufficient to deal with our problems. Oh, it can deal with everyone else's problems; but it doesn't speak to my issues, my needs, my relationships, my situation. I need God's Word plus these eight books from the Christian bookstore; I need God's Word plus tapes and conferences and counselors. Sure, I need God. But I need Him plus close friends; I need Him plus good health; I need Him plus a husband; I need Him plus children; I need Him plus a job that pays enough; I need Him plus a house with a microwave, a washer/dryer, a garage, and a fresh paint job... Do you really believe that if you have God you have enough? Or are you more like these women: "God is not really enough" - I did not know I believed this until I realized how much trust I put in other things and people. I thought I trusted God fully and kept telling my husband we just needed to trust God, but then I would run to my friends to discuss our marriage or finances." "I have turned to food for comfort when things were going bad in our marriage. In forty years of marriage, I have put on forty-five extra pounds." "I have denied the truth that my relationship with Jesus will satisfy my longings. Through the way I live, I have shown those around me that I need "things" in order to be happy. I have been critical, complaining, and irritable most of my life. I have been living this lie." Do we truly believe God is enough, or are we looking to other things and people to fill the empty places of our hearts - food, shopping, friends, hobbies, vacations, our jobs, or our family? | | |
| I've been reading the book Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. It's been really eye-opening and has been speaking into my circumstances as of late. I was so challenged earlier this week by something that I read that I felt like I should share it... "Before we can respond in a godly way to the circumstances of life, we must first settle this basic issue: What is my purpose in life? If our goal in life is to be happy or accepted or loved, then anything that threatens our well-being will be an enemy - an obstacle to fulfilling our objective. On the other hand, once we agree with God that we exist for His pleasure and His glory, we can accept whatever comes into our lives as part of His sovereign will and purpose. We will not resent, resist, or reject the "hard things," but embrace them as friends, sovereignly designed by God to make us like Jesus and to bring glory to Himself. We will be able to look into His face and say, 'It's not about me. It's about You. If it pleases You, it pleases me. All that matters is that You are glorified.'" Earlier in the book, Nancy talks about how a lie that we often buy into is that "it's all about me." We talk about how so many people have a problem with poor self-image, but really, that's not the case. We are the center of our own universe and think we should be the center of everyone else's as well - How does this affect me? Will this make me happy? Why did this have to happen to me? What does he/she think about me? Nobody cares about my ideas. He hurt my feelings. I've got to have some time for me. I need my space. He's not sensitive to my needs... She quoted Dr. Larry Crabb in his book Finding God and what he said really struck me - Helping people to feel loved and worthwhile has become the central mission of the church. We are learning not how to worship God in self-denial and costly service, but to embrace our inner child, heal our memories, overcome addictions, lift our depressions, improve our self-images, establish self-preserving boundaries, substitute self-love for self-hatred, and replace shame with an affirming acceptance of who we are. Recovery from pain is absorbing an increasing share of the church's energy, and that is alarming... We have become committed to relieving the pain behind our problems rather than using our pain to wrestle more passionately with the character and purpose of God. Feeling better has become more important than finding God... As a result, we happily camp on biblical ideas that help us feel loved and accepted, and we pass over Scripture that calls us to higher ground. We twist wonderful truths about God's acceptance, His redeeming love, and our new identity in Christ into a basis for honoring ourselves rather than seeing those truths for what they are: the stunning revelation of a God gracious enough to love people who hated Him, a God worthy to be honored above everyone and everything else. ... We have rearranged things so that God is now worthy of honor because He has honored us. 'Worthy is the Lamb,' we cry, not in response to His amazing grace, but because He has recovered what we value most: the ability to like ourselves. We now matter more than God." She talked about how Paul was able to rejoice in the midst of his sufferings because he realized who he was living for - "I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." Acts 20:24 So, in the midst of struggling with transitions, being busy, feeling overwhelmed... can I trust that this is exactly where the Lord has placed me? That this is where I can bring the most glory to Him? If it wasn't, He would have placed me somewhere else. Can I embrace my so-called "struggles" as "friends" and allow them to shape and refine me and make me more like Him? | | |
| I haven't written in awhile. The past month has flown by so quickly! The wedding was SO much fun - way beyond what I had dreamed. I still have to remind myself some days that I'm married... it's like this wonderful thing that you wait for your entire life, and it's hard to believe that I am. It's been so fun - I get to be with my best friend all day. It's great. We've been living back at home working on fundraising for next year. It's been a bit harder than we both thought it would be... summer is such a busy time for people. At times, I think, "How in the world is this going to happen? It's impossible." But then in the same moment it seems that the Lord reminds me that He can do it. He can do the impossible. And I have this peace that He will do it - whatever is best for Him and for us. We're here for the next four weeks and then we'll be heading back to school. Margie told me and my brothers to make a funny face and I was the only one that did.... 
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